I don't have it all together. I wish I could tell you that I did. As the director of a successful non-
profit with a graduate degree in counseling, a wife of 20 years, the mother of three healthy and
beautiful daughters it may appear that I do, but can I be completely honest with you? I struggle
with lots of things.
I worry. I second-guess. I fear getting too close in certain relationships. Sometimes I go into
such deep depression and anxiety that I don't want to get out of bed. Mental health issues are
very real to me because I experience them personally.
Growing up, I was the kid who tested every limit. Out of 4 girls, I was the one terrorizing my
sisters, pushing mom and dad's buttons, and getting the most spankings. At the time I felt like
the "black sheep" – always in trouble, always receiving the discipline, always deserving of it,
even when it really wasn't my fault. (Actually, most of the time it was my fault).
Though I acted tough, I hurt deeply. I still do.
I think that's why I chose to study counseling and pursue a profession of helping others. I can
relate to the individual who messes up. To the one who gets it wrong most of the time and every
now and again does the right thing, I know how you feel.
Although I've gotten pretty good over the years at disguising my true self, I know in my heart
who I really am. I know my struggles and am reminded of them daily. I want to rise above
them, but in my own strength I simply can't. In the midst of my weakness and rebellion, I was
introduced to the One who saw my potential and would give me the power to overcome.
At eight years old, I remember sitting in a living room chair and talking with my parents about
the power of Jesus Christ to cleanse me, to save me, and to forgive me of all my sins. At that
tender moment I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, but it has taken years to grow with Him
and to trust Him completely for my every need. I'm certainly not perfect, but He is and He
knows just how to care for this wayward child!
One Scripture that soothes my soul like no other is found in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "And He has
said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly,
therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions,
with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.'"
Regardless of how I'm perceived in this community or what others may think, I am a woman
who is weak; I serve a God who is strong. It is only in His strength that I can wake up every
morning and do what I'm called to do. It is only by His grace that I can boast in my weakness
and know that somehow He will receive the glory.
If you don't know Him personally, you should. He knows you after all and He wants nothing
more than to cover your weakness with His power. That's what He does best. My prayer for
you is that you'll let Him. May you hear Him directly: "My grace is sufficient for you."